w a i t

i’d like you to do one thing for me it's quite simple really if you don't over think it that is. i'd like you to w a i t for me. not the bus stop kind of wait mind you, or even the emergency room wait (and please feel free to sigh with relief here) but a more drawn out kind of w a i t, a less intense wait. do you think that you could do that for me? i guess what i should really be asking is would you do that for me? but the truth is i'm scared to ask because i'm afraid you might say no. and i'm afraid that if you do i won't try and stop you since i don't always do the things i want, or say the way i feel. and i don't always do the things i feel and say the way i want things to be. i guess that's just me, for now, hopefully not forever, because i may end up wanting everything and having nothing or vice versa and at this point i'm not sure which one would be worse. i'm scared though. scared you'll be gone from my life, even though you're barely in it now. but i'll cling to the thread of your shirt if you'll do the same. it's only a thread after all... i'm not asking too much am i? that hardly seems like a committment... okay maybe a small one, nothing fancy though just a whisper of a promise that you'll be there when i'm ready for you and ready for us. which i think i will be because i'd like to be and maybe there's some small part of you that wants to take the time and wait for me. of course the thing is that i'm really not sure when that'll be. you see i've got a lot of thoughts swirling in my head and no butterfly net to catch them in and i'm still learning and growing and dreaming and trying to be and trying to figure out what it really means to be and to be me for that matter and to walk around in my shoes and feel comfortable in my own skin that both is and isn't me, not all, at least. i'm rambling again, but that doesn't mean i've forgotten about you you you are on my mind, or in the back of my brain, you walk with me and talk me, and slowdance with me in my dreams which are frequent and few, but sometimes, more often than not they feature you. and i wonder if you think of me, and when you do because if you haven't noticed i'm assuming you do. or maybe a better word would be pretend, because i generally don't like to assume, so i'm pretending that you think of me and dream of me and wonder about me and maybe my eyes, or smile, or maybe my laugh, i don't know, but if you're thinking about me, i'm not sure i mind whether it's a piece of the puzzle or the whole thing. it's just nice to think of me being on your mind. so what do you say? will you w a i t for me?