stolen moments in my mind
stolen away from me
i hurt you to make you stay
you hurt me to feel something new
i wandered along the avenue
i paused for a second
maybe two
you whispered to me
when we laid in bed
you said the nicest things to me back then
right before you fell asleep
always before you fell asleep
the next day it was the same
the newspaper where you left it
the dishes piled high above our heads
and the look you gave me
the one that set in the sun
it was
it was
...

you used to make me laugh
i barely remember what my voice was like back then
you had a way
you had a way with me
you had a way with me sometimes
all the time
when you wanted to
but it was always when you wanted
never on my time
never in my mind
never when i needed you the most
but always when i couldn't stand to be around you
like you were trying to be the glue
but honey
it was always me
i was always the glue
and now it's something even i can see

tried to sleep in a room streamed with sunlight
facing a mirror that stole glances at me
through the not yet night light
thoughts drifted in and out about you
and some visions i had in mind for a long time
but have never quite been able to say
despite the lengthy amount of time you gave me
caught in my hand, holding closed my heart

you are that which cannot be verbalized
though you have been idealized and commercialized
in my desperately needing to sleep mind that
runs timid hands down your ever-changing frame

i have grown with you though you will never know
the extent of my beautifully construed appearance
more beautiful than the words used
to explain your carefully created presence

you are the hope i cling to despite every wrong turn i have taken
you are making the words that should flow with ease the hardest to say
out loud
you are more beautifully construed than the words i've tried to use
to explain your carefully created presence
and i remain yours


in waiting




written months ago as a draft

your hands
pale white skin glowing
as they ease their way over strings
creating vibrating melodies
i want to feel
instead of hear
you move with grace
and a kind of precision
a girl like me can admire
your fingers
often forgotten in the presence
of your laugh
your penetrating gaze
are now the only thing on my mind
your fingers
have become more than mere extensions
of hands that linger when mine are near
your fingers
have taken on a new form
and i imagine them easing their way
around compromises and midnight moments
consuming temptation
and leaving me a little more
mesmerized by
hands once forgotten
and fingers pale and white