if i could tell you
i would tell you
tell you that things have changed
your hair never looks quite the same
but your eyes have more depth and more sorrow
you feel heavy and i have only entered the room
you stand tall but your shadow
looks for a place to lean
you smile but at times your eyes give you away
and i picture you somewhere else
try to keep a vision of you
wrapped in scarves
filled with knowledge
that you could change the world
i believed in you
i still do
if i could tell you
i would tell you
that you are strong where i am weak
that i have more faith in you than myself
and that you will succeed because of no one else
but you
you hold more power than you use
and intrigue me even after all these years
if i could tell you
i would tell you
that i think you've lost a part of you along the way
he took a piece and he earned a piece and he now has a piece
but you are whole in more ways than you know
you should know that
you have yet to become less in my eyes
you can only become something more
and i look forward to
meeting you in the future
having been informed of past
puzzle pieces and present day daydreams
if i could tell you
i would tell you
that fear only grabs hold for a moment or two
and those of us who face it
become fearless in more ways than one
you should know that
even without others
you are not alone
you have enough to feed and grow on
living inside of you
and you would make it
i swear you would
if i could tell you
i would tell you
that life has its ups and downs
but we can choose which one to live with
you know more about yourself than you care to admit
and don't need me to tell you what you already know
you have strength and passion
you have honesty and integrity
and you will become something
even if you stand alone
if i could tell you
i would tell you
things that would hurt
but that at times i feel should be said
things i may not know
things that i simply feel
or imagine or suppose or even assume
but things nonetheless that arise
from moments when your eyes
don't match the words in your heart
and your soul seems sad and weary
if i could tell you
i would tell you
that you deserve more than you think you do
always have and will continue to
you have risen up from ashes of pain
moved past names and have become the one
deep inside of you
now you need to hold on to her
because she's worth it
and you shouldn't give her up
for anything or anyone
if i could tell you
i would tell you

when he walks he leaves you with an imprint
a footprint
and several handprints
that can be seen along the curve of your back
and the shape they take is
barely recognizable to you
when you dream he isn't there
there is another
one whose potential has grown to an ideal form
and he haunts you in ways i think he knows
but can't quite share with you in person
there was a time when i heard it in his voice
captured in time for a few stolen moments
and when you listen to him i think you hear it too
when you listen to him i think a part of you
flies away to be with the part of him he gave you
years ago
and in some other world lost in space
the two of you are holding hands
and nothing is greater than your love

in the present moment though
you are stamped with with footprints
and handprints and fingerprints
that mark his territory
you have become one i no longer know completely
though in truth you always had something to hide
we stand on separate sides of the same dream
and we both want more than we know how to get
and we both need more than the other can give
in times like these we collapse inside ourselves
and the part we show the world has one expression
one kind of face
we speak in static tones
and hide the part of ourselves we barely know

the days pass long and dull
and you sit by the window
looking out at your dreams
that are slowly slipping away from you
you watch them pass
and remember the time you held them
in the palm of your hand
you walk alone even though
i stand beside you
sometimes behind you
just in case you need me there
in truth i know you do
but find it hard to show it
in truth i need you more than i let
myself believe

we were
two of some kind of thing that remotely sounds the same
we are
far apart though you live close enough
that at times i can hear you breathe
lately it resembles a sigh
i don't mind
or so i tell you
the loudest sigh of all is still my own

you and him
the two of you
loosely spoken words
loosely tied together in some makeshift lullaby that soothes
but doesn't quite comfort

i know you
or at least the image of you
i hold in my mind
i see her
you in some other form
looking down at me
from above
you were always above and i was always below
you were always more than i bargained for
and i feel a little less at home in my own shoes

the skin i find you wrapped in has become hard
rough to the touch though i know you work on that everyday
you soak your skin with something a little more soft
and the result is a mixture of hard and soft skin
that you wrap yourself in to hide
i think you hide from things you're too afraid of
and i think you have been given more credit than you deserve
at times
few times
once or twice if that
i know you know things about yourself that i never will
i know you hear things i can only imagine
i know you hurt even when i don't think it's possible for someone like you
and i know you know that i do too
i know we are weak in ways the other is strong
and i know you can't touch the part of me that still remains covered
i know there is a part of you i will never know as well as i would like
and we both know he's not the one for you
not this way
not like this
not with heavy hands that don't touch but stamp themselves down on you like you're an item that has been tagged
not like this with tears that dry when he is ready to speak
not like this when your words are mixed with his words and the words that you are longing to be able to say
we
you
i
let us sit
side by side

hushed tones spoken over lines that can't
communicate the distance in your eyes
and the hesitation in your heart
familiar words become foreign
when ears on the other end
hear thoughts instead of words
and silences full of words you never
intended to share
your eyes begin to carry the thoughts
you leave inside your head
closed off and seemingly detached
from your heavy heart
movement becomes one of familiar motion
coordinated through years of repetition
while the brain can ease itself to sleep
where dreams become the escape to live for
and reality is only a momentary phase
you try to smile your way through