i thought i knew you
recognized you
felt you
in some way
sometimes big
sometimes small
standing there
arms outstretched
mouth wide open
no sign of anything
that couldn't be classified as ordinary
but the curtain falls
and you make your way backstage
and the you i thought i knew
has died
flown away
been a lie
who are you in those moments
when you stand for words
you can barely speak
all cut throat
and dynamite
all flame and fight
fire in your once yielding eyes
i don't know you
maybe i never have
never will
never could
or can
you seem so foreign now
fueled from within
spewing out hate and judgment
overruling, overstepping, obscuring
all that i thought was once there
alive and well
breathing
calmly
rationally
evenly

could i have been so wrong
could i have misjudged you so
were there earlier signs
did i miss them
consciously
subconsciously
unconcsiously

which one of us has lied
more?

if i could but break away...

who are we
this group i call home
these people frozen in time
these day old memories
strung together like christmas lights
wrapped in chapters that once aligned
and now just seem to go together
because they always have
greens and blues
mixed in with pale pinks and deep reds
voices that change
falter and speak
when silence is needed

who are we
these desert eaters
these lonely companions
these high heeled indulgences

who are we
what have we become
why are we
more importantly to some

i have seen your faces
heard your cries
whispered school time lullabies
and sung songs to pass the times

we have not stood together in many ways
but the show must go on
and as the curtain rises we are one
seemingly one
seemingly so
and yet the curtain closes
and though we long to take our separate bows
we move in unison
always together
always as one


if i could but break away



who would i be





who would i become