haunted

you couldn't even acknowledge him could you
couldn't even bring yourself to admit
that i was with him and he with me
that we were together
a couple
that race intermingled and blended together
to create something that was no longer
white or black

i haven't looked the same
when staring into the mirror
after that night
but you've continued on and buried the past
miles from our house and light years from our home

i hurt more than you will ever let yourself understand
pushed him aside for you and find myself left with what
your tarnished acceptance and my endless need to gain
your approval
your love
that you said i had from day one
and yet could not feel over the pain that day
some days still

covered myself up now with layers of skin
layers of sin
to hide away from those who could somehow
bring themselves to want some twisted and torn
piece of me to love

not yet ready and not sure if i'll ever be
more comfortable pushing you all away from me

tell me your secrets and i'll bottle them away
but ask for mine and i'll lack in some kind of reply

the past seems too eager to befriend me