finger skin

i wanted what they had in the moment when i saw what they had told through his teeth
and the way he spoke i love yous concealed in words about her laughter her eyes his disguise that matched her insides
and i thought i found a sliver of that with you when the skin on your finger touched the small of my back and i felt you through my shirt and layers of life that covered me for so long that at times it feels like i've been hiding
you touched me and in that moment i wanted to consume the feeling and make it so it couldn't and wouldn't stop a never-ending story that would be all my own
and i pictured them and the way they would be and i thought that i found a sliver of that with you and me and your precious finger the skin the touch the stroke
that ignited sparks and sent out signals like smoke from a fire that burns with desires and cradles the lovers in heat
i was so young and naive then and still am now but conceal it with words that i've learned make you seem like you've been schooled with the tools that have been pushed down your brain crammed in your pockets and attached to you like pretty chains
i was an april fool in september and your finger on the small of my back was lovelier than a freshly sharpened pencil bouquet and i told myself a touch like yours would last longer than a single day
i look back and wonder why i made his words my ideal and think the answer is just under my nose in that spot you can't see but feel when you're ready to look inside and confront the lies
i thought i found a sliver of that with you when the skin on your finger touched the small of my back but one day the finger roamed as fingers often like to do
so while your finger unzipped the first few layers of skin i leaned back and thought of them and their love and wondered if they had this moment of unzipping skin
this moment of unzipping tripping skin in slow motion
and i wondered if i really had a sliver of what they had
expressed through words and ballet hands and lips that drip with red hot desire
and i'm not sure i want to know the answer
because i like the thought of having found a sliver of that with you when the skin on your finger touched the small of my back
and eventually led me down a different path





(originally posted on 4/1/06)