tried to sleep in a room streamed with sunlight
facing a mirror that stole glances at me
through the not yet night light
thoughts drifted in and out about you
and some visions i had in mind for a long time
but have never quite been able to say
despite the lengthy amount of time you gave me
caught in my hand, holding closed my heart

you are that which cannot be verbalized
though you have been idealized and commercialized
in my desperately needing to sleep mind that
runs timid hands down your ever-changing frame

i have grown with you though you will never know
the extent of my beautifully construed appearance
more beautiful than the words used
to explain your carefully created presence

you are the hope i cling to despite every wrong turn i have taken
you are making the words that should flow with ease the hardest to say
out loud
you are more beautifully construed than the words i've tried to use
to explain your carefully created presence
and i remain yours


in waiting




written months ago as a draft