i never want to forget

the way you snuck out to the fridge to eat cream cheese because you liked it so much but didn't want anyone else to see you or the way you laughed with your body shaking like santa claus and tears running down your perfectly tanned skin lined with memories of places and times and moments and other tears that happened long before i was around to see them. your voice which was always filled with love and sincerity or the way you looked at me at him at us our little family or the pictures we have of the moments we shared that tell part of the story in freeze frame. that time in the basement with marko and i getting stuck inside a blanket crawling around and making our way up the stairs calling your name to come find us and save us from our own childish games or the way you spoke english with caution that nonetheless never stopped you from trying. running up to you in the airport and throwing my arms around you and the two of us crying even though it was a hello moment and not a goodbye see you soon (hopefully) moment. we had our fun we had our laughs that shattered language barriers and made the distance between us grow smaller in an instant. we had our tears of joy and our tears of laughter that mingled before settling just below the skin locked away and saved up for another rainy day. your love of dominoes and dancing the way you smiled with your eyes your love of long hair and fancy updos your love of pictures in front of beautiful displays and the way you packed up suitcases with pieces of your home to add to our home. baking together in the kitchen (our special you and me time) with you taking your time to show me how with patience and love wrapped up in every fold of dough. you praised the smallest accomplishments in all of us and always found ways to say i love you whether in words or looks or gestures that seemed to emanate from inside displayed on the outside dressed up in red your favourite colour. you were and will always be in memory form a special part of my life my love my heart.